Missing the Point

A guy on flickr had the good sense to take this shot and document some poor decision making by some people during LE06.

Come on guys. This isn't helping. This is about as on message as an AA meeting inside a brewery. Honestly, using an airplane to tow a banner? As if flying in circles towing a banner wasn't bad enough, the banner wasn't even legible.

I know people are going to think I was behind this, but I assure you I was not. I'm not even sure the DraftGore people were behind it. A couple of them stopped by the office today and they don't seem like they would be this clueless.

Talking Points - O Liberal Media, Where Art Thou?

So the L.A. Times apparently received the same talking points communiqué the infotainment bores were blathering on about on Rupert's air earlier this week.

I already pointed out the ridiculous nature of this report here, but it's worth noting as this showed up in an L.A. paper. You know, the paper from the land of the people who are all supposedly worshiping before the great and powerful Gore.

Even a hack like Gary McChuckles might bristle at a cheap line like this one:

"Perhaps what we really need next is a live global concert to raise awareness about the omnipresence of live global concerts trying to raise awarenesses."

How about this? Perhaps we need reporters who get busy uncovering real stories instead of trying to out yuk each other. Leave that to the bloggers.

Tired of Live Earth?

Neither am I.

Lucky for us, Li'l Live Earth and I play a prominent role on tonight's episode of Li'l Bush. I have to admit I like my Futurama self better than my Li'l Bush self.

Fat jokes? Fine, I have developed thick skin about that (see I can make jokes too). But why make me an albino?

Well That's Just Tacky

In their neverending quest to bust my chops over everything I do the fine kids over at Rupert's place put out another little blurb about the coverage of Live Earth.

From their "report":

"In Britain, the primetime audience peaked at 4.5 million — only one-third the audience of the Princess Diana tribute concert six days earlier."

Wow. Amazing. The tribute of a beloved icon was more popular in her homeland than a concert festival intended to spur people into making an effort to help the environment? That's ace reporting, just like in the old days.

With skills like that I wouldn't be surprised if they were finally able to prove that more people watched the finale of MASH than AfterMASH. It's always impressive to follow the work of those who excel in their field. Bravo Britster! Masterful work really.

Republican4Life - Greenie Awards

After seeing the backlash over Live Earth driven by those who are so content suckling on the fossil fuel teat I decided I would institute the first annual "Greenie Awards" to be given to the biggest jackasses across the internet. The first Greenie goes to the proud soul known as 'republican4life" on the cafepharma boards. I know, I know who would have thought that someone who makes a living by pushing processed chemicals would not be in my camp? Shocking.

Here's a brief quote from this genius:

"How about this libs?

To be fair, why don't we have a concert that's pro-America? We can have real singers like Tede NUgent, Skynyrd and proud country artists talk about pride and debunk Gore's bs.

As for me, I don't hate America or money so I used up more energy this wekeend then ever! LOL"

I don't know who this "Tede NUgent" fellow is, but that doesn't look like a very Pro-American name to me. As for the "proud" country artists... Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, so I don't see any need to have them around (unless you mean Willie which I am sure that you don't). I am a Christian after all, and I wouldn't want to associate with those who wish to sings songs about shoving footwear up the asses of others (I must have missed that line in the Bill of Rights). Not much to be proud of if you ask me.

So enjoy your Greenie "republican4life" and don't call me when your Hummer runs out of gas on the way to the NASCAR race and your Milwaukee's Best just won't stay cold because it's so flingin flangin hot outside.

Congrats you fine pillar of society!

I Am The Great and Powerful Gore

At least that's what the whiners would have you believe. Apparently the only time rock stars perform concerts is when I order them to do so. When not performing at Live Earth they sit at home patiently waiting for the GorePhone to ring alerting them when and where they are allowed to play.

It's ridiculous that whiners like this guy are claiming that all of these rock stars would have been twiddling their thumbs at home had it not been for Live Earth. Yes, because everyone knows that summer is not the time for concerts and festivals. These idiots would have you believe that the Red Hot Chili Peppers would just be hanging around in a candle-lit room hoping I'll give them something to do rather than playing a non-green festival somewhere else.

I am the Great and Powerful Gore according to my critics. I appreciate the heads up. Apparently I slept through the part where Morgan Freeman endowed me with all of God's power, thus enabling me to exert mind control over the masses who sit and wait for my call. Thanks to them I know that I control all of the Earth's energy consumption as apparently people only perform or attend concerts when I sponsor them.

Greenest. Festival. Ever. Deal with it. You know damn well as soon as you naysayers figure out a way to profit from green initiatives you'll all jump on the bandwagon. See you then. The more the merrier, just don't expect me to forget that you are pointing and laughing now.

Why Are You Reading This?

You should be watching Live Earth! Put down the laptop (don't forget to turn it off and unplug) and gather a group to watch!

Et tu, Steve?

So I guess I wasn't supposed to let it be known that I had gotten my iPhone quite that early. Either that or Steve really, really hates my solar iPhone idea.

I guess what's acceptable for some old guy from the Wall Street Journal isn't so good for the former VP. I'm not saying I hold grudges, but you might want to hope that options scandal resolves itself before 2008 rolls around.

Enough of this, I've got a party to plan.

Green Party... Not that One

So there's a little shindig I put together you might want to check out. It's a green event (of course) despite what the naysayers are going on about ("Gorestock?" You guys are precious, really.). Seriously, even the web hosting is green.

See you in Jersey. Just don't bother me during DMB's set. Especially if they are playing BWBF.