An Interview with Fake Al

After my post about Winnie the Pugh (aka Lewis Pugh, aka The Polar Bear) I was contacted for an interview by some Brit rag. My publicist swore it was a legit paper, but I have my doubts. Now it looks like the story has been killed. Seems Big Rupert owns a stake in the paper and promised the CEO that Simon Cowell would go to his kid's birthday party if he made sure I didn't get any good press across the pond. Weird, right? It's a small world after all I suppose.

Anyway, I had the reporter send over the transcript. To be honest, there was no story here to begin with. I'm kind of glad they killed it.

Britporter: Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I know you're busy preparing to ru...

Me: Let me stop you there friend. I won't answer any questions about any plans or intentions I have or haven't made. Let's move on. Surely you have something else.

Britporter: Alright then. Let's try some off the cuff "fun" questions, shall we?

Me: Go ahead.

Britporter: Here we go. Mac or PC?

Me: There are 90" of Apple displays behind me and I'm on the board at Apple, Inc. You tell me.

Britporter: I hear you are somewhat of a Sci-Fi buff. Which of the six Star Wars movies is your favorite?

Me: You can't be serious. First of all, there are only three of them. Secondly, anyone that argues for anything other than Empire is a total fool. I do love Sci-Fi though. I have people working around the clock on that Mr. Fusion thing from Back to the Future. How cool would that be?

Britporter: Right then. So I understand you fancy yourself as a champion of environmental concerns. What's that like?

Me: It's refreshing to talk with someone who has clearly done their homework. Unfortunately I believe an old friend just dropped by and I have to cut this short.

Britporter: I didn't hear anything.

Me: Get out.

I knew I should have cut the guy off after the first question, and if he was half a reporter he would have pushed the issue. The clock is ticking and I am sure one of these guys could probably get me to slip up if they tried hard enough.

I guess he'll just have to wait until September like everyone else.

Talking Points - O Liberal Media, Where Art Thou?

So the L.A. Times apparently received the same talking points communiqué the infotainment bores were blathering on about on Rupert's air earlier this week.

I already pointed out the ridiculous nature of this report here, but it's worth noting as this showed up in an L.A. paper. You know, the paper from the land of the people who are all supposedly worshiping before the great and powerful Gore.

Even a hack like Gary McChuckles might bristle at a cheap line like this one:

"Perhaps what we really need next is a live global concert to raise awareness about the omnipresence of live global concerts trying to raise awarenesses."

How about this? Perhaps we need reporters who get busy uncovering real stories instead of trying to out yuk each other. Leave that to the bloggers.

Well That's Just Tacky

In their neverending quest to bust my chops over everything I do the fine kids over at Rupert's place put out another little blurb about the coverage of Live Earth.

From their "report":

"In Britain, the primetime audience peaked at 4.5 million — only one-third the audience of the Princess Diana tribute concert six days earlier."

Wow. Amazing. The tribute of a beloved icon was more popular in her homeland than a concert festival intended to spur people into making an effort to help the environment? That's ace reporting, just like in the old days.

With skills like that I wouldn't be surprised if they were finally able to prove that more people watched the finale of MASH than AfterMASH. It's always impressive to follow the work of those who excel in their field. Bravo Britster! Masterful work really.