An Interview with Fake Al

After my post about Winnie the Pugh (aka Lewis Pugh, aka The Polar Bear) I was contacted for an interview by some Brit rag. My publicist swore it was a legit paper, but I have my doubts. Now it looks like the story has been killed. Seems Big Rupert owns a stake in the paper and promised the CEO that Simon Cowell would go to his kid's birthday party if he made sure I didn't get any good press across the pond. Weird, right? It's a small world after all I suppose.

Anyway, I had the reporter send over the transcript. To be honest, there was no story here to begin with. I'm kind of glad they killed it.

Britporter: Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I know you're busy preparing to ru...

Me: Let me stop you there friend. I won't answer any questions about any plans or intentions I have or haven't made. Let's move on. Surely you have something else.

Britporter: Alright then. Let's try some off the cuff "fun" questions, shall we?

Me: Go ahead.

Britporter: Here we go. Mac or PC?

Me: There are 90" of Apple displays behind me and I'm on the board at Apple, Inc. You tell me.

Britporter: I hear you are somewhat of a Sci-Fi buff. Which of the six Star Wars movies is your favorite?

Me: You can't be serious. First of all, there are only three of them. Secondly, anyone that argues for anything other than Empire is a total fool. I do love Sci-Fi though. I have people working around the clock on that Mr. Fusion thing from Back to the Future. How cool would that be?

Britporter: Right then. So I understand you fancy yourself as a champion of environmental concerns. What's that like?

Me: It's refreshing to talk with someone who has clearly done their homework. Unfortunately I believe an old friend just dropped by and I have to cut this short.

Britporter: I didn't hear anything.

Me: Get out.

I knew I should have cut the guy off after the first question, and if he was half a reporter he would have pushed the issue. The clock is ticking and I am sure one of these guys could probably get me to slip up if they tried hard enough.

I guess he'll just have to wait until September like everyone else.