If I Were to Run, This Would be My Campaign Song

What's So Funny 'Bout Peace, Love and Understanding

I won't be using the Nick Lowe or Costello versions (which I also love). I'm going with the ass-kicking loud and pissed off Steve Earle version.

Why that version? Two reasons:

1. I know it would cause people like my previous Greenie Award winner to be so busy blogging themselves silly about the controversial choice they won't notice how badly I would be kicking the ass of their candidate in the polls.
2. More importantly, I like the defiant feel this version gives to the lyrics. I've had it with people equating "democrat" with "wuss". No more. The gloves are off and all you whiners are being called out. If it's a fight you want, you've got it.
   

I'm done being a politician, I think I'll just be a leader now.

As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin' for light in the darkness of insanity.

I ask myself
Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny 'bout peace love & understanding?

The time of ridiculing those who want a better world for ourselves and future generations is over. I've had enough.

Those Darn Activist Judges.... Oh, Wait

Judge tosses out Valerie Plame's lawsuit

Does this mean we don't have to hear whining about activist judges anymore? I doubt it, but I would love for all of the people whining about "activist judges" to take their medicine and shut the hell up now.

I Am The Great and Powerful Gore

At least that's what the whiners would have you believe. Apparently the only time rock stars perform concerts is when I order them to do so. When not performing at Live Earth they sit at home patiently waiting for the GorePhone to ring alerting them when and where they are allowed to play.

It's ridiculous that whiners like this guy are claiming that all of these rock stars would have been twiddling their thumbs at home had it not been for Live Earth. Yes, because everyone knows that summer is not the time for concerts and festivals. These idiots would have you believe that the Red Hot Chili Peppers would just be hanging around in a candle-lit room hoping I'll give them something to do rather than playing a non-green festival somewhere else.

I am the Great and Powerful Gore according to my critics. I appreciate the heads up. Apparently I slept through the part where Morgan Freeman endowed me with all of God's power, thus enabling me to exert mind control over the masses who sit and wait for my call. Thanks to them I know that I control all of the Earth's energy consumption as apparently people only perform or attend concerts when I sponsor them.

Greenest. Festival. Ever. Deal with it. You know damn well as soon as you naysayers figure out a way to profit from green initiatives you'll all jump on the bandwagon. See you then. The more the merrier, just don't expect me to forget that you are pointing and laughing now.

Plans and Intentions

Some have said that I finally put to rest the belief that I would run. I'd say they need to look again.

"I don’t have any plans or any intentions of being a candidate again"

What does that really mean?

plan (plān) n. - A scheme, program, or method worked out beforehand for the accomplishment of an objective: a plan of attack.

in·ten·tion (ĭn-těn'shən) n. - An aim that guides action; an objective.

can·di·date (kān'dĭ-dāt', -dĭt) n. - A person who seeks or is nominated for an office, prize, or honor.

The objective of the plans I have made is not to simply become a candidate. Been there, done that. I intend to win and the purpose of the win is not the office itself. More TBA.

So there you have it. When people start whining and claiming "flip flop" once the announcement comes you can all point and laugh at their stupidity knowing I did no such thing.

That Darn Liberal Media

One of my favorite myths is that of the all powerful liberal media and the influence of Hollywood. Let's look at this guy's latest "me too" entry into that arena that again beats a long dead horse:

"Why has the media decided that U.S. has lost the war in Iraq?

Because a Republican is in power. And not just any Republican, George W. Bush — who stole the 2000 election from its rightful winner, even after the media declared Gore the victor; and then went on to win re-election in 2004 despite the press telling us that he had no political support in the country."

Do all of these people go into hibernation when Democrats are in office? Seriously, I have to put up with all the same nonsense as any other powerful person. Yet somehow I still have to listen to these people tell me I get a free ride from the media I supposedly carry in my pocket? With friends like the "liberal media" who needs enemies?

To this day I still have to put up with people regurgitating the nonsense about my supposed claim of "inventing the internet." Thanks for putting that one to bed liberal media! You guys are so awesome, and I'm glad you don't just live in the imagination of a whiny oversensitive faction of people who possess incredibly selective memories.