Monday, July 9, 2007

This Just In... Coal Miners Want More Coal Plants

Well, golly gee I guess I stand corrected. I mean, if the people who make a living off of them say we should have more plants that's all I need to know. Hard to argue with them. It's not like coal miners have an astronomically high rate of job-related illnesses or anything. Nothing better than a good old lung-ful of carbon. Mmmmmmm. Carbon. It does a body good.

In related news, Exxon announced they will fund a grant to help develop V20 low-MPG engines. Exxon spokesperson Cash McGreenback said:

"Look, Exxon appreciates vehicles such as Hummers and poorly maintained SUVs that get poor mileage as much as the next tycoon. But that's not enough. Our shareholders are growing accustomed to massive profits, and to continue that trend we are excited to announce the funding of this grant that will benefit us all (wink wink). Who knows, we might just break the 10 MPG barrier if we all just believe."

These guys sure do love C02, but I have yet to see them sucking on tailpipes for sustenance. I am sure they would if they could. Maybe if we all just believe.

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